Tonight in crew, the topic was “What is Love?” (1 John 4:9-17) Here were my points:

  1. Love is sacrificial (vs.9-10).
  2. Love is contagious (vs.11).
  3. Love reveals God to others (vs.12).
  4. Love should continue to grow (vs.17).

For part of the message, I used the following quote from C.S. Lewis:

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”

I think too many people live out the opposite of this statement. Too many students see relationships (dating and otherwise) as a means to an end. They want a relationship that will benefit them (make them more popular, meet their emotional needs, etc.). The problem is that when the decisions about dating (who, when, why, etc.) are made with this perspective, then love is absent from the process. Without love, relationships tend to degrade toward compromise, codependency and consumption. People in such relationships use each other for their own means and end up in bitter breakups and leaving both damaged, wounded and bitter.

1 John 4:10 says that real love isn’t that we loved God, but that He loved us. That’s profound. “Love” isn’t the fact that I think God is great (though He is) because He can benefit my life (though He does). “Love” is the fact that God extended Himself to me FIRST. Love is God rescuing me at my worst, when I have nothing to offer Him. In the same way, we need to stop looking at relationships for what we can gain, but for what we can give.

Author: erik

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1 Comment

  1. if love is about giving, and you love me, than you can give me a clean kitchen floor and an basket that is filled with clean and folded laundry.

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